We've all heard the phrase, "The Long Arm of the Law", right? Well, I thought it would be quite fitting to use this coined phrase when describing Multiple Sclerosis. MS doesn't just wreak havoc on your body, its damages can be felt emotionally and financially, not to mention the consequences on our relationships. Let's first tackle what could happen emotionally. With MS comes feelings of hopelessness, sadness, self-loathing, and anger to just name a few. But the one feeling I never expected was grief. I pretty much felt like I was in mourning; I was mourning my former self. Sometimes I still feel that way. I was going through the five stages of grief which I thought only applied to the passing of a loved one. I believe I'm in the final stage - acceptance. Well, not entirely, I'm like 75% into it, but it's a work in progress. We're all just works in progress I guess. Next up is finances. That's a doozy. It's hard enough living paycheck to paycheck let alone throwing MS into the mix. A lot of us can't work anymore due to our symptoms. It takes forever to get approved for disability and when you do it's barely enough to live off of. That constant worry and weight on our shoulders is enough to cause more flare ups. It also creates added stress on our loved ones which in turn creates more self-loathing. We see ourselves as more of a burden than anything else. The last thing I'll touch on is the way MS affects our relationships. Sadly, sometimes relationships end because of MS, including marriages and friendships. I think it's probably due to all the previous complications I've already listed. All those things put such stress and pressure on our most treasured relationships. I've been lucky enough that my relationships have remained in tact but only because all parties involved worked hard at sustaining them. I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else, I'm simply saying that somehow, perhaps by sheer luck, we've been able to weather the storms. We've definitely had our share of fights and even months of complete separation. Yet it's constant work to keep those relationships strong and healthy. But even with pretty stable relationships the dynamics have certainly changed. Not so much on their part but on mine. I'm different, I'm not the same Lisa I used to be. I still feel alone sometimes and there are times I feel like an outsider. This feeling has diminished quite a bit but it still lingers. I wish I had the answer to all these tentacle - like effects that MS has on our lives, or even better a cure for the disease itself. Alas, I do not. What I will do is post some links I've found to be helpful in my own life. I admit it can be disheartening when a lot of organizations say you don't qualify or there's so much red tape to cut through, but we have to keep pushing along. I mean crying and curling up in a corner isn't exactly the healthiest of options. To stay connected to other people afflicted with Multiple Sclerosis: http://www.msconnection.org/ Monetary Financial Aid: http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Resources-Support/Insurance-and-Financial-Information/Financial-Resources/Financial-Assistance-Program https://catholiccharitiesusa.org/network Directory of Personal Therapists Specializing in Chronic Illnesses: http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/disabilities
6 Comments
Maryellen
9/27/2016 20:16:12
Well written! I see the effects of this disease every day on some of my patients, and you nailed it about their feelings. Looking forward to more from you!
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Lisa A Baeringer
9/27/2016 20:18:11
Thanks. I really appreciate that. Mostly everyone hears about the effects it has on your health, but there's a whole slew of other issues going on in the background.
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Amy
9/27/2016 20:57:02
That made me tear up, but happy tears! U will never be alone as long as, I'm in the picture! You are truly AMAZING annnd I can't wait for your next blog. :) <3
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Lisa A Baeringer
9/27/2016 21:04:05
Awwwww. Love my bestie tons. But you kinda do feel alone cause you're the only one with it. But that's ok. As long as I stay the only one with it, and it doesn't hit any of you guys, then I'm happy.
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I loved this. My late husband had MS when I met him. I saw the devastation it caused and I admired how he handled things. Your story was one that went straight to my heart. It made me want to help you figure all these questions out, but I know it is different, yet the same, for all those who suffer from MS. I hate the disease, but I adore the people who stand with this disease and keep trying their best, even when time, energy and money is not there. I would love reading more from your stories. I am trying to join one of the MS groups you have on Facebook. I have included my facebook profile webpage here, I would like to be friends. I pray for a cure every single day and I suffer from Fibromyalgia, which I have often heard is somewhat similar in symptoms as MS. I miss my husband of 10 years. He passed away with me holding his hand over 2 years ago. He had a severe case of MS, it was agressive and lesions were on his brain and spinal cord. He fought a good fight, I tried my best for him, but his family and in some ways he himself caused us to be estranged for the last 2 years we were married, I loved him, would have never divorced him, because I never truly blamed him. I blamed his family who in the end were caring for him and they let him lie around so much he had a stroke that killed him, even when they knew he was dying they allowed him to lie there and die. MS did not kill him, their neglect did. My sincerest best wishes to you and to a cure for MS. Loved this, could relate to both sides.
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Lisa A Baeringer
9/28/2016 20:08:57
Hi Linda. You comments where so gracious and endearing. I'm so very sorry about your late husband. I'm sorry his family didn't take care of him better. As for him pushing you people away I kind of understand that. We feel like a burden and believe our loved ones deserve better. It's not rational but what emotion is lol. I hope you find relief and support concerning your fibermyalgia. I think I botched that spelling lol. I didn't see your Facebook link or address in the comments for us to connect. I will check my author page on Facebook.
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